you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
