Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
