I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
