Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
