just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
