you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
