I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
