nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
