D3 body, D1 cock
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
