i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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