You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
