So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
