I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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