I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
