Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i already hear my dad disowning me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize