Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
