this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
