First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
