This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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