Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
