i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
