Ambien. No doubt about it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
