Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize