just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
