Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She needs sedatives and a leash
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
