he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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