so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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