he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have post one night stand depression
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