Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
