Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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