I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
