Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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