Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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