Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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