i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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