the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
