I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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