pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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