are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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