Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
