can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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