Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
