it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
