Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
