Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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