it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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