You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
