so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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