Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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