I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
