the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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