i permit you to call me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
