You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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