He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
