whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
