Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
