do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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