It's Friday. Sex?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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