so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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