Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
