Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
